Sometimes parenthood feels like a marathon with no finish line. There’s this somewhat elusive goal in front of you, but when you think you’ve almost reached it, another goal pops up and it’s even further away. And new motherhood, with the physical recovery and exhaustion, and heightened emotional intensity seems especially marathon-like. Many new moms talk about how it’s hard to feel accomplished or successful in those early days because the tasks seem small and insignificant, yet it’s all so very hard at the same time. And once you’ve met one of your goals, whether big or small, another need pops up instantly and overshadows any feelings of accomplishment or satisfaction. I’m not a marathon runner, but I imagine that many marathon runners find ways to motivate themselves over the long course. I imagine that if I were to run a marathon, I would need to consciously celebrate each mile I ran. Those small moments of success would give me a moment of happiness and motivate me to continue putting my best effort into the journey. At the end, I would remember the marathon as hard, but also sprinkled with small victories; moments of joy, satisfaction, and accomplishment.
What if you celebrated your small victories during your postpartum journey? How would that affect your mindset each day and how would it affect your overall well-being? I don’t think that we should wait for the major sweeping finish line accomplishments of motherhood. I’m not even sure what those are. But, if you pay attention, I think you’ll notice plenty of small victories each and every day. I know that I was often guilty of letting those moments go unnoticed, always charging ahead for some grand accomplishment. But when I slowed down and celebrated the little wins, I felt a positive shift in my mood and my ability to cope with the overwhelming postpartum days improved a bit. Your small victories might be different than another new mama’s small victories and that’s OK. Don’t hold yourself to anybody’s standard but your own. And please go easy on yourself when setting your own standard. If you’re having trouble finding any small victories in your days, here’s a list of ideas to get you started. Maybe one of will resonate with you or maybe they’ll at least give you some inspiration to find your own.
10 Small Postpartum Victories Worth Celebrating
1. You took a shower today and spent an extra five minutes enjoying the solitude. Self-care accomplished!
2. You skipped the shower because your baby was asleep on you and you didn’t want to wake her. Baby snuggles accomplished!
3. You admitted to yourself that you can’t do this alone and resolved to ask your next visitor to help you with the laundry. Getting support accomplished!
4. You followed through and asked for help with a task that felt so overwhelming right now. Getting support accomplished!
5. You threw together a nutrient packed salad while the baby napped and enjoyed it with your favorite cup of tea. Self-care accomplished!
6. You napped while the baby napped. Self-care accomplished!
7. You remembered to get a full glass of water before you sat down to nurse your baby. Self-care accomplished!
8. You looked around at your messier than usual house and told yourself that it’s OK, cleaning can wait. Letting go accomplished!
9. You managed to get outside for a walk with the baby (and all the preparation that entails). Fresh air and activity accomplished!
10. You skipped the walk because you were just so tired and listened to your body’s cues (which were telling you to take it easy today). Self-care accomplished!
The postpartum days are repetitive and hard. And I know you might have some big goals that involve getting much more sleep, having a bit more alone time or time with your partner, or having more than an hour between each time you feed your newborn. Those days will come, but it won’t be right away. If you keep waiting for them, and forgetting to notice all the little goals you’re accomplishing along the way, you might get pretty discouraged. Please consider giving yourself the gift of noticing your small victories. Because those small victories during this postpartum phase are actually pretty grand and worth celebrating. You are doing this and you are worth celebrating.