As a doula, I have frequent opportunities to witness mothers doing their thing, being in the place where only they can go, where they are simultaneously most vulnerable and powerful. I know that mothers are so very strong, often much stronger than they themselves even realize
Imagine that you lived generations ago, when families lived more communally than we do today. Or in another culture that still lives communally today. Your baby is born and your mother, sister, and aunt are there with you for weeks, months, or even longer afterwards. In those early days, they take care of the cooking, cleaning, and caring for other children. You have been around when they breastfed their babies and you have a blueprint for doing the same thing with yours.
Dear Exhausted New Mom,
If you can identify with any of the following, read on:
It’s a new day and, as you get up in the morning, you wonder how you’ll make it through. And to be honest, it doesn’t even really matter that it’s morning because you sleep and wake at all hours in accordance to the baby’s schedule. And “making it through” is almost moot because once the day is over you know you’re in for another night of frequent waking.
After the birth of my first baby, my life was turned upside down. I didn’t know what to make of my new daily routine and I almost didn’t even recognize myself. To say I was resistant to these sudden changes would be an understatement. I did not welcome my new role with grace or acceptance. It just felt so abrupt, and it happened without much warning.
My first baby cried a lot. I remember one day, about a month after he was born, when I felt like he cried all day. I tried to help him, but it seemed like nothing worked. As the day went on, I became increasingly frustrated and hopeless, and my ability to think creatively about how to help him went out the window. Logical thinking was overshadowed by exhaustion, frustration, and anxiety.