Dear Exhausted New Mom,
If you can identify with any of the following, read on:
It’s a new day and, as you get up in the morning, you wonder how you’ll make it through. And to be honest, it doesn’t even really matter that it’s morning because you sleep and wake at all hours in accordance to the baby’s schedule. And “making it through” is almost moot because once the day is over you know you’re in for another night of frequent waking.
You woke up 3-9 times last night to nurse, soothe, rock, or change your baby.
You find yourself daydreaming about sleep, and finding every possible opportunity to sit down and close your eyes, even for just a minute.
Your partner has commented to you, “the baby slept well last night!” after a night in which you woke multiple times to tend to the baby. He/she just didn’t notice or hear.
You’re feeling resentful towards your partner who is getting much more sleep than you, but still mentions how tired he/she is.
It drives you crazy when you mention how tired you are and people try to find the silver lining or minimize your feelings.
You and your partner are both too tired to function because you’re both waking at night – one to feed the baby and the other to change, soothe, rock, etc.
You’ve questioned your sanity in deciding to have this baby.
We devote a good deal of time and energy here on New Mama Project to offering ideas, tips, encouragement, and suggestions for a healthy postpartum transition, but today I’m not going to do that. Because I believe that sometimes we all just need to be heard and validated. Nothing more. If you’re struggling to get the sleep you need, you’ll find loads of tips and ideas in books, on the internet, and from friends and family. In fact, I reflected on some changes I made to get more sleep after having my second baby here. But today, I just want you to know that I hear you and I know it is is so hard to be sleep-deprived and have a new baby to care for. You have my full support to share your feelings on the matter, to be where you are with it. I know what a huge, tough responsibility it is to wake up each night to care for a newborn.
Just when you think you can’t go on, you survive another night, responding to your baby’s needs and comforting her. And then you spend the next day, caring for him, all while the fog of exhaustion looms over you. You are doing this, and you are rocking it, and you are tired. I’ve been there. I hear you.