In Stephanie’s postpartum story, she talks about needing friends who “get it” during her postpartum days. She discusses the importance, for her, of finding other mothers who are experiencing the trials and struggles that she is experiencing in the moment. As I was reading her story, I had a moment of realization about my own postpartum days with my first and I was able to pinpoint exactly when I started experiencing a significant shift towards feeling a little bit better. I wrote a short letter to the person who helped me with this shift:
Dear Friend,
A few months after my first was born, I finally made it out to my first “mom” gathering. I don’t know why it took me so long to do it; perhaps I was scared, nervous, or simply too overwhelmed to even make it happen. I went to an evening La Leche League meeting, hoping to find some advice and support for my fussy nurser. At the meeting, I met you. You were struggling with nursing, had a baby who cried a lot like mine, and were generally overwhelmed by your postpartum transition. We instantly connected and you threw me a major life line by calling me the next morning. We made plans to get together and, from there, a beautiful friendship formed.
For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was alone on an island, with no hope of being rescued. There were so many people supporting me and trying to help me during those early days, but none of them quite got me the way you did. You were living my reality at the same time I was living it. You didn’t give me specific advice and you certainly didn’t come to my house to help me cook and clean. What you did was listen, validate, and understand. You shared your own struggles and let me see that I wasn’t the only one struggling. Because of you, I started to think that maybe I wasn’t a bad mother for finding these postpartum days to be so hard. I began to believe that I could do this and I cherished the time we spent together with our babies, lifting each other up and holding space for each other to struggle through the transition of becoming mothers. To this day, I am so grateful to you. You saw me through that time and I hope I that I provided some of the same comfort and support to you.
Much love,
Taylor