We’ve all been there.  The moment when you finally have a few minutes to yourself and you are racing through ideas of what to do.  You think, I could clean the bathroom, or write that email, or make dinner, or read a few pages of my book, maybe have a cup of tea, maybe do a load of laundry, maybe watch an episode of Orange is the New Black.  There are so many options and what do you choose?

Today I want to recommend taking the slacker option. You may be on your couch looking at a pile of laundry, or tumble weeds of dog hair.  You may have just come from the bathroom which is looking rather dingy.  You may have just eaten a scoop of peanut butter because it was the only available food to eat.  I say, so what.  Will you feel better if you remedy one of these situations, maybe.  Will you feel better if you relax on the couch for a few minutes with a good book, definitely.

I started thinking about the perks of being a slacker mom a few weeks ago when I ran into my neighbor after work one day.  She mentioned she was exhausted because she was up until 1am making photo books for herself and the grandparents.  I couldn’t believe she stayed up so late to get this project done.  I felt guilty that I had never made a photo book for my daughter.  I also realized that despite best intentions I probably never would. This is when I considered the perks of being a slacker mom.

Admittedly the downside of being a slacker mom is that you have a messier house, less creative crafty projects, fewer Pinterest worthy parties, and un-inspired meals.  But, making the trade-off can be so worthwhile for other reasons.  Whether you are two weeks postpartum or two years postpartum I would argue we could all benefit from being more like slackers and less like Fortune 500 CEOs.

Here’s the thing – parents are like CEOs.  They juggle running their family business every day.  There is always an endless to do list and there are never enough people to delegate to.  As brand new parents you have it even harder because you don’t know what the business is yet.  You’re trying to run the company without even knowing where the mailroom is yet.  I know that you are working day and night to just keep from sinking.  I also know you’ve got a to-do list mounting in your head of all the things you should be doing.  Before you start tackling that list, consider some of my reasons for slacking off:

Keeping my mood elevated. Being a new mama is hard work, sometimes monotony, sometimes drudgery.  I know many new parents are struggling to adjust to this huge life transition, and it’s normal to get down at times.  Finding a few moments to slack off and distract yourself from reality can help you cope with the intensity of your situation.

More time being in the moment with the baby. Being a slacker mom will give you permission to just snuggle on the couch with the baby rather then try to juggle newborn care with getting other stuff done.

Extra time for self-care.  If you aren’t busy checking things off your to-do list you will hopefully be doing something to rejuvenate yourself like eating, sleeping or relaxing. This is so important, way more important than clean clothes.

Letting people help you.  Learning how to ask for and accept help is a skill that every parent needs to develop.  Being a slacker gives your more opportunites to ask for help since you’re not getting as much done.

Acceptance of imperfection.  Being a slacker means you aren’t perfect.  The more you practice slacking off, the more comfortable you will be with imperfection.  You will never be a perfect parent, you will mess up and fall short over and over again.  Intentionally choosing imperfection is a beautiful way to get comfortable in that space.

Time for the important things in life.  What is important to you?  Family, friends, your passions?  Hopefully slacking off in certain areas allows you more time for things you truly value. Forget about the things you think you should be doing, and do what you want.

Living the memories. By slacking off you are allowing yourself to live in the moments that will become memories.  Hopefully fuzzy and joyful memories.  You won’t look back on this time and remember the hours you spent on Snapfish making a baby book, but you might remember the hours you snuggled your newborn on the couch.

I really hope that everyone finds time to slack off this week.  It’s not easy to do with a newborn around.  There is a lot to get done, and that darn baby seems to demand a lot of your time.  But, if you can slack off, even just a little, I am sure you will enjoy those few minutes of laziness.  Honestly, newborns do provide a lot of time for slacking – if you know when to take advantage. I encourage milking it (pun definitely intended) for as much as it is worth.  Here are a few phrases you can use to earn your slacker time (say them to yourself or others…whoever needs to be convinced you should slack off).

“I just can’t get up right now or the baby will wake up.”

“I really need to sit down and nurse the baby for a few minutes.” or “I just need to nurse her in the other room so she’s not distracted.” (Great for escaping family gatherings – remember this during the holidays!)

“I would do the laundry, but I’m afraid the noise will wake the baby.”

“I’ll just sit down for 15 minutes then I’ll….”

“We can just eat cereal tonight, I couldn’t put the baby down all day.” (use when you’ve spent hours binge watching Downton Abbey instead of making dinner)

“Oh sorry, I don’t think we can make it the baby is sick.” (use this excuse to get out of any engagement you don’t want to attend)

“Do you mind if I sleep in this morning while you get up with the baby.”

You will get the hang of it soon enough, and I’m sure you’ll even have your own phrases that help you slack off a little. I know that you are all working incredibly hard to take care of your children and keep it all together.  Being a mother, especially a new mom, is the most demanding job you’ll ever have, it never stops.  If you don’t find opportunities to slack off every once in a while you will run yourself into the ground.  Breathe, relax, and make time for yourself whenever you can – even if it means being lazy once in a while.